10 Reasons Why I Oppose Gun Control

1. SELF DEFENSE

If the right to bear arms was stripped away from the people, how would we defend ourselves against gun toting maniacs?

2. GUN TOTING MANIACS

How would gun toting maniacs present us with a scenario in which to defend ourselves?

3. POLICE STATE

Gun control will give police unprecedented powers over the people. Particularly those types of people who hold up gas stations.

4. HUNTING

Abolishing the Second Amendment would take the right to shoot deer away from thousands of pro-life hunters.

5. GUNS ARE FUN

Let's face it - guns are just a lot of fun. Whether you're shooting 5 shots into the air at New Year or several rounds into your wife's head, you never get bored of guns!

6. FOOD

Without the right to own weapons, how on Earth does the government expect us to peel a potato?

7. MOVIES

This is perhaps the most important reason; Nicolas Cage would never act again. And all those Mafia movies would be reduced to looking like half-baked remakes of Herbie Rides Again.

8. CRIME RATE

Introducing gun control legislation would see our crime rate reduced to that of evil Socialist countries like England and France.

9. OTHER FIREARMS

We must protect our entitlement to bear other types of firearm, too. This means standing up for the right to own at least three nuclear missiles.

10. 'SECOND AMENDMENT' IS AN ANAGRAM OF 'MADMEN CONSENTED'

Says it all, doesn't it?

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10 Reasons Why Barack Obama Should Resign as President of the United States

1. HE'S NOT EVEN AMERICAN

Quite simply put, Obama's rise to the office of president is utterly unconstitutional. I mean, how can he call himself an American when he was born on some obscure island in the Pacific?

2. HIS MIDDLE NAME IS 'HUSSEIN'
How could we even think about electing a president who has Hussein in his name? That's like electing someone with the same first name as John Wilkes Booth to Leader of the House!

3. HIS LAST NAME SOUNDS LIKE 'OSAMA'
If point number 2 wasn't enough, try this. Having such a similar name to the World's Most Wanted Terrorist is freaking alarming. Come to think of it, America has a habit of electing presidents with dubious rhymes to their names. After all, 'Reagan' rhymes with 'Pagan'.

4. HE'S A COMMUNIST
If Obama gets his way the Government will be steeling our hard earned money and putting it towards healthcare. We must refuse to allow this privilege to be taken away from the insurance companies!

5. HE'S A MUSLIM
Barack Obama is a Muslim, as are all Terrorists. Just ask Timothy McVeigh!

6. HE WANTS TO ENFORCE GUN CONTROL
"President" Obama wants to take away our right to bear arms. But how else are we supposed to defend ourselves against gun toting maniacs?

7. HE SMOKED MARIJUANA
That's right, people - we have a pothead running our country! What next, a confirmed alcoholic?

8. HE CAUSED THE RECESSION
The economic crash in this country was caused entirely by Obama's Stimulus Bill - 14 months before it was signed into law.

9. HE'S A NAZI
I'm just going to say it; Obama is a Nazi! And until we overthrow him and instill permanent Republican rule, we will be living under a horrible dictatorship.

10. 'PRESIDENT OBAMA' IS AN ANAGRAM OF 'I AM A DEBT PERSON'
Didn't I tell you he is after your money?

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