Monday, 23 February 2009

10 Reasons Why People Should Lay off George Bush

1. HE WAS JUST A PUPPET
Deep down we all know that Dubya could never have masterminded the two wars in the Middle East, or the so-called downfall of our economy all by himself. He was but a pawn in the maniacal plans of a power much greater than him. And what greater power is there than Almighty God himself? That's right: former Vice President Cheney.

2. THE GUY IS FUNNY

Despite everything this man (or his puppetmasters) have done, George W Bush is actually a really funny guy! No seriously. I'm talking laugh out loud funny here! Alright, granted: No Child Left Behind kind of lacked that killer punchline, and he perhaps milked Operation Iraqi Freedom a bit. But man, did he ever nail it when it came to his stand-up routine. That "Fool Me Once" skit still tickles the bone.

3. HE RESHAPED AMERICA
Say what you like about him, Bush was highly successful in reshaping the landscape of the United States during his 8 year reign. So much so that New Orleans no longer appears on said landscape.

4. BUSH ALWAYS LISTENED TO THE PEOPLE
He might have been unpopular among most Americans, but Bush always tried to listen to the voice of the people. His intricate wiretap program merely provided the means.

5. WE SHOULD WAIT TO SEE WHAT HISTORY DECIDES
A time may still come when Bush, one of the most devisive presidents of all time, will be vindicated by history - or, at least, his own version of history.

6. HE IS A DEVOTED FAMILY MAN
He was (and still is) a sincerely devoted family man. Despite persistent rumors to the contrary, Bush's married life flourished even when former British Prime Minister Tony Blair was in town. It was just a shame that Laura Bush kept getting in the way.

7. HE GAVE GENEROUSLY TO AFRICA
How can we forget his pledge to helping disease-ridden Africans? Despite pressure to fix his own country as well those in the Middle East, Bush still worked around the clock to send AIDS to Africa.

8. HE BROUGHT TERRORISTS TO JUSTICE
Credit where it's due, Bush also worked tirelessly to bring terrorist suspects to justice, making America safer in the process. As with everything else, he had detainees outsourced to Cuba.

9. HE STRENGTHENED DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS
He helped to strengthen diplomatic relations with, among other small islands, Papua New Guinea.

10. 47.87% OF YOU VOTED HIM IN
That's right, if 47.87% of you would have had as much foresight as the 48.38% that voted Al Gore, Bush wouldn't have been elected in the first place. So quit your complaining!

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