Tuesday, 18 May 2010

10 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Should be President of the United States

1. SHE'S AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN
Three words: Mrs Todd Palin! You go get 'em, girl.

2. SHE'S GOT A DISABLED KID
Nothing beats this reason. Having a mentally disadvantaged child will no doubt prepare Sarah for the rigors of running a nation. After all, it worked wonders for George H. W. Bush.
3. SHE'S GOT THE LOOKS
Let's face it, a framed picture of President Palin would do great things for the aesthetics of my office. No offense, George, but you're starting to look a little wrinkly.

4. DRILL, BABY, DRILL!
A lifelong advocate of offshore drilling, the former VP candidate will shift America's focus back to oil - its most profitable energy source behind Coca Cola.

5. SHE'S GOOD AT FOREIGN RELATIONS
All right, so she may not have acquired a passport until 2006, but this hasn't stopped Mrs Palin from building a rapport with the people of other countries. Just ask the nation of Alaska.

6. SHE WEARS THE FLAG WITH PRIDE
Unlike our un-American president, Mrs Palin is not afraid to wear Old Glory during campaigns. She's proud of her country - and of America too.

7. SHE'S INTELLIGENT
Believe me, this woman is big in the brains department. Not only can she list three types of moose, name all presidents Reagan through Bush Sr. and give a detailed interpretation of man's fight against the dinosaurs, but she's read every book you can think of; from The Gospel of Matthew right through to The Book of Malachi.

8. SHE'S EXPERIENCED
At 46, Sarah Palin is already a vastly more experienced politician than that foreign guy we have running the country. Three years of gubanatorial duty have taught her many valuable political skills; not least of which is how to lie and get away with it.

9. IT IS GOD'S WILL
How about this for a reason... Sarah Palin's 2012 bid for the White House is not just a rumor or a pipe dream. It is God's will. I'd love to see you liberals answer your way out of that one.

10. SHE'D BE READY FROM DAY ONE
That's right; on her very first day in the White House she'd be ready to get on with the job of misleading our country into the next decade. Bring on 2012!

3 comments:

Colin Marshall said...

I think your shit is funny. I'm just worried about all those commenters who don't get the joke.

As a writer, maybe it's time to look at your content & decide why the joke isn't coming across to (seemingly) the majority of your readers.

I guess I am just trying to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt.

Dear God, I really hope all of those commenters aren't dumb. I really hope it's a defect in your writing style.

...

I think all of those people might just be dumb.

the proper gandhi said...

Thanks, Colin.

TC the she said...

Dumb doesn't even begin to describe it, Colin.

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