Tuesday, 24 February 2009

10 Reasons Why the USA is the Greatest Country in the World

1. ONE NATION UNDER GOD
We as a nation are blessed by Almighty God above, and He chose us, America, to be the beacon of freedom throughout the rest of the world. In time, I pray He'll teach us how to find the rest of the world on a map!

2. MEXICANS

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying Mexicans are what make this country so damn great. Hell no! What I'm saying is that Mexicans risk their lives to scale those border fences because America is so damn great. Period.

3. DIVERSITY
America is made up of wonderful people from all walks of life. And Mexicans.

4. ECONOMY
America's economy is God's economy, and if God is great then it follows that His economy is great. And if His economy is great then it follows that we have the best recession in the world!

5. THE WORLD SERIES
That's right, every year the World Series comes around to determine which baseball team is the best in the world. I've looked through the history books on this one and let's just say America comes off favourably.

6. CHUCK NORRIS
That gun-slinging, roundhouse kicking, Bush loving son of a gun is welcome at a family baby shower anytime!

7. JULY 4th
Nobody puts on a show to celebrate the signing of America's Declaration of Independence better than we do. Fact!

8. REPUBLICAN PARTY
God's party.

9. HISTORIC NATION
Discovered for the first time by an actual man in 1492, America has the oldest and richest history in the world. Of course, this might be to do with the fact that the world consists entirely of America.

10. NEVER SAY DIE ATTITUDE
Whether we're being threatened by passive Native Americans or infiltrated by Muslims, America always prevails in the fight against people of color.

9 comments:

225712012 said...

This is why the rest of the world hates you assholes. Your misplaced egoism.

Charles said...

You are the most racist ignorant piece of shit I have ever had the displeasure of wasting my time on.

Marcus Fryman said...

If only you knew the truth, Charles...

TC the she said...

Cough cough. 'Satirical Conservative'... Hack hack.

Brett Reschke said...

Dear Fryman, This is glorious. Please keep them coming and continue terrorizing your conservative not-so fans for the rest of us to enjoy watching. Thank you.

Christie said...

You need to do one called "Ten Reasons Why This Website ISN'T Satirical" LOL.

BOBMO said...

just two things outa many things i could say....
1. that made me laugh so much
2. your economy fails so i guess so does your god

JMANKILLER11 said...

I think that this is the only blog this guy has written that i agree with. is that wrong?

Taco said...

Welp! After this might as well prepare for WWIII! Wait, we don't have allies anymore? Oh well!

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